When Two Become One – A principle of Marriage

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

I want to touch on a subject that perhaps you have encountered or perhaps not yet - temptations in marriage. Perhaps you are married and have not encountered temptation – praise the Lord! Perhaps you have. Either way, I want to focus on the different areas that temptation can enter and not just the obvious one although that is an important one. The first two verses speak about the body and how it belongs to your spouse. When you get married you become one with your spouse. The bible says in Genesis 2:24 that "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." The reason for this is because whenever a man and a woman come together sexually, the man deposits of himself in the woman and the woman receives him, making them one. So the husband's body belongs to his wife, and the wife's body belongs to her husband. There is no more "my body"; it becomes "his body" or "her body."

We cannot dress the way we used to because now we dress to please our spouse, not ourselves. We cannot neglect our bodies (we shouldn't anyway) because our bodies are no longer ours but our spouses. We can go on and on about what we can and cannot do with our bodies because we no longer have authority over it, as the Scriptures tell us. It is also one of the reasons why we cannot and should not commit or practice adultery. We cannot give away what is not ours to give. Our bodies are not ours to give when we are married and God clearly speaks against this behavior. (Exodus 20:14)

I want to bring your attention to verse 5 which tells us: "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." I want to focus on this verse because here is where we will see what kind of temptations can arise and why. Obviously, the verse is speaking about depriving each other of sex but when we deprive each other of sex the temptations that arise are more than sexual ones. For instance, there is the temptation to despise your spouse because of neglect. There is the temptation to be angry and bitter. There is the temptation to mock or speak ill of or to your spouse. Now this is something that you would see in a marriage without Christ but clearly the Apostle Paul is speaking to believers. Why? Because Satan doesn't tempt the unbeliever, he already has control of the unbeliever. It is the believer that Satan tempts because he wants to make the unbeliever fall.

To deprive one another can be more than sexual as well. You can deprive one another of companionship, affection, love, friendship. Clearly Paul is emphasizing sexual deprivation because this can lead to the temptation to fulfill your needs elsewhere. As a Christian, this is not an option and doing so will cause you to fall, yet many fall into these other temptations I mentioned above as well.

When you find yourself facing these temptations the first thing you must do is pray. Pray for your marriage, pray for that passion to return to your marriage. Pray for your spouse if that's where the negligence is or pray for yourself if it is on your part. Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION. Study the word of God and what it says about the tongue and how you should speak blessings over your home. Pray over your home and if your temptation is sexual pray for your desire to be for your spouse and do what you must to engage your spouse. Remember the word says that if you are going to hold out on each other, it should be consentual for the purpose of fasting and prayer; for the purpose of setting yourself apart for God only. Anything else is no excuse. So be aware, be careful, and pray for your marriage and your spouse so that temptation does not catch you in a moment of lack of self control.

God bless!